Plan C is for Combat
Why this recurring question of finding your path within Software Engineering? It’s kind of what everyone just does. It’s how you advance your career by going deep on one specialization or transitioning to the dark side aka management. But what am I after really, is it the salary, or a promotion, or a hefty title?
The answer lies in the movie F1, which coincidentally released just a few weeks back. I am not going to go into spoilers (watch the movie yourself, trust me!), but the movie revolves around the return of a failed F1 driver now in his 50s. The main protagonist was poised to be the next F1 world champion after Schumacher and Senna, but a severe crash ended his career abruptly. Ever since then, he’s been living like a nomad, gambling and freelance racing. His personal and professional life is a disaster in every sense. He is headed down this path until a friend offers him a chance to return to F1.
Sonny, in one of the scenes, is asked by a colleague why he came back to formula 1 after so many years. His reply? The accident had made him bitter and resentful. Much later he came to realize that what he had lost wasn’t the titles, trophies, fame and money. Tt was his love for racing. So he just started racing again. It didn’t matter what car he was driving, what circuit he was on, who was watching or how much money was involved. As long as he was in the car he was good. Sometimes he would have a moment where everything slowed down, quiet & peaceful, in a state of flow and no one could touch him. In that moment he was flying.
This is what I have been doing unconsciously
I get that exact feeling when I am writing code, not all the time but sometimes when I’m really in the zone, I can start to visualize what is 10 steps ahead. A sort of clarity emerges. Whether I am working on backend, frontend, or data it doesn’t matter, that state of flow comes for me in unexpected and unplanned ways. A lot of people talk about the same feeling e.g. David Heinemeier Hansson who is not just a world famous programmer but also a part time racer.
Just like Sonny Hayes who leaves after winning his first race in F1 to pursue a new adventure, I too am not one to choose a specialization and settle into it. I am also chasing new challenges constantly, which has had me shifting (albeit at a slower pace) from one project to another over the last 5 years.
When Things Click
I realize now that this rat race I thought I was destined to be part of was a lie — chasing a higher package, a better title, more visibility and appreciation etc. etc. I have never enjoyed any of that and in fact I often am awkward when receiving praises. I don’t work as hard as I do because of any of that stuff, I do it because I am still chasing that feeling of flying. I would gladly keep programming even if all of the aforementioned materialistic things disappeared.
I want to find the next challenge where I can return to the state of flow I was missing dearly last year. But at the same time I want to ensure that I maintain my health and fitness and gather up savings/investments to ensure I can continue on this path without being bothered by liabilities. I don’t know yet where this path will lead, but I feel good about it, it feels right. It’s my eureka moment when everything I have known for a while finally clicks.